When ‘banter’ becomes a red flag
‘Banter’ is often described as playful teasing or joking between people. In healthy relationships, it should feel mutual, light-hearted and respectful.
However, banter becomes a red flag when it is used to hide hurtful or controlling behaviour. This tactic makes it difficult to recognise or challenge.
Banter is used to mask domestic abuse.
Abusive behaviour is not always obvious. It can be disguised as humour, which may make someone doubt their feelings or hesitate to speak up.
When hurtful behaviour is repeatedly dismissed as “just banter” it can become a form of emotional abuse.
Over time, this can affect a person’s confidence, independence and sense of safety.
If you are in immediate danger call 999, or for 24/7 advice, call the free National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0800 2000 247.
Is it domestic abuse?
If you’re questioning whether ‘banter’ is being used as a tactic of domestic abuse ask yourself these questions:
- Is it enjoyable for both of us?
- Can I say ‘stop’ and feel safe doing so?
- Do I feel respected afterwards?
If the answer is no, it may not be healthy banter.
